Turk Moments
by SapphireXSerpent
Summary: Whether fluffy, funny, or serious, Turks have many moments. A collection of turk drabbles and oneshots with Relena ones spinkled in. Rated T for language.
1. Unprofessional Professionals

**AN: Okay, this is the first drabble in a series of turk drabbles. I'll post more as soon as I get inspiration. Inspiration for this drabble hit me while I was in school and staring out the window at a wooded hill. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of Final Fantasy 7.**

**IMPORTANT NOTE: This chapter has been redone, and is much more better.**

Reno grinned as he made his way to the new turk's office space. The blonde was looking over some files, probably something having to do with her job application.

Reno tapped his hand on her desk, causing her to look up at him.

"Hey newbie," He leered at her.

Elena frowned at him and narrowed her eyes. Rude had told her how he got into mischief so much...

"Have you read the rule book clearly? It says all newbies gotta play tag with a higher ranking turk." He grinned.

Elena got an odd look, and said. "That's absurd, and I'm sure it's not in the rule book..."

"Check yourself." Reno had prepared for this. The rule book was hidden in a secret...place...

"I can't find the book." Elena said, frustrated.

"Then you'll just have to come with me." Reno gave her a smirk.

--------_Later--------_

After careening off the edge of a cliff near Kalm, landing in a heap on the ground below, and collapsing into fits of laughter, I'd say Elena had fulfilled the 'Play-Tag-With-A-Higher-Rank' mission, wouldn't you?

"You know," Reno drawled, looking at Elena,

"You know what me and Rude are? Unprofessional professionals...And you're gonna be one too."

Elena stiffled a giggle.

"More like professional fools."

"Sure rookie, call it whatever you want." Reno said, looking off at the horizon.

"Unprofessional professionals is fine...yeah!" Elena exclaimed, being her giggly self.

Reno managed a weary grin.

**AN: Yeah, short and pointless. Next ones are much more funnier though. **


	2. Reno's Jacket

**AN: Wow. That was fast. Hmm..I tell you what gave me inspiration at the end. I don't want to spoil it! Now on with the drabble! (That really has no point at all.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FF7. **

"Elena! Where is it?" Reno shouted at her. "What are you talking about?" Elena replied. "You know

damn well what I'm talking about! My jacket! You took it and hid it." Reno yelled. On the outside, Elena had

a straight face that said, 'I don't know what your talking about.' On the inside though, she was mentally

laughing. Though she knew exactly who stole it, she wasn't about to say. "Elena...Give me my jacket!" Reno

yelled again. "I didn't take your damn jacket!" Elena yelled back.

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes!

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!

"No!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Ah ha! So you admit it!" Reno yelled triumphantly.

" Reno, go away. I DIDN'T take your jacket."

" Fine, Elena. I'll go, but I'm watching you." He then pointed to himself and then to Elena with an evil air.

"I'll go ask Tseng. Maybe he did it..." When Reno was gone Elena burst out laughing. He'll never guess

that Rude did it.

**AN: Yeah, just a random blip. I had to post it though. Oh, yeah. I get inspiration for this fic when my uniform went missing and I thought that my younger brothers had stolen it. I would have never guessed that my older brother was the one who did it. Hmm...Expect more soon.**


	3. Twirls and Blackmail

**AN: Well, I'm back...back again. Sapphire's back...tell a friend. Gawd, I hate that song and it's stuck in my head. But the good news is, I got inspiration from it! So yeah...Enjoy the drabble.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or FF7, Squaresoft does. Oh yeah, Slim Shady-Eminem.**

"Reno, turn that dang music off!" Elena shouted while plugging her ears. "I can't hear you." Reno

said while dancing to one of his songs on his stereo. "Ba ba bum...ba babum." Reno sung in rythum to the

music. Rude shook his head impaitiently. "Reno, get back to work." He said "Yeah, Reno." Elena agreed.

"Ahh, c'mon guys! Join in!" Reno said. "Reno, Tseng won't be happy when he sees what you're

doing."Elena warned. "Who cares what Tseng thinks? C'mon Elena, dance with me!" Reno said. "Shady's

back...Back again." He sang. Elena shook her head frantically,backed up, and crossed her arms. Reno

grabbed her arms and started swinging her around with him."Yahoooo!" Reno yelled. "Renooo! Let go!"

Elena shouted. She struggled to get out of his grip, but couldn't. Reno just grinned and kept spinning.

"Rude! Help me!" Elena continued to shout. Rude just looked on with his mouth open and did nothing.

Suddenly, Reno lifted Elena up and brought her back down gracefully. Elena couldn't help but think how fun

that had felt. "Reno, do that again!" Elena said with a smile. Reno grinned again and lifted her up and twirled

her in the air. What they didn't notice was that Rude now had a video camera and was taping them. When

Elena was back on the ground they felt really dizzy. They collided and fell in a laughing heap on the ground.

"That was great!" Reno exclaimed. Elena continued to laugh. Just then Reno spotted Rude. "Eh, Rude?

What are you doing?"He said. "Oh..nothing,nothing." Rude replied. Rude walked back to his office and

watched the tape. "Heh..This will make perfect blackmail." Rude said with a smirk.

**AN: Heh..So yeah. That came out good, I guess. I have another idea that I'm going to type as soon **

**as I submit this one. Review if you want the next one out tonight. Please?**


	4. Storms Part 1

**AN: Yep, I'm back like I said. Okay, inspiration for this one came to me when I was sitting in front of the fire and it was really storming out. Now on with the drabble. Oh, and don't get scared. Just warning you.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FF7.**

_BANG!_ The thunder sounded and lightining stuck against the sky. Elena huddled into her chair at

her desk. 'Why the heck does Tseng have us working this late at night and with weather like this?' She

asked herself. She looked at the clock. '2:30...I guess we'll have to stay here tonight.' The 'we' she was talking

about, of course, is Reno and Rude, her fellow turks. 'Ohh, I hate being in storms all alone.' She thought,

'Where are the guys?' She heard something outside in the hallway. 'Wha was that?' Elena tensed.

"Re..Reno? Is th..that you?"She said. A crash from the hallway, more thunder. Her office lit up with a flash.

"Reno, this isn't funny!" She yelled, half out of anger and half out of fright. Footsteps, heavy breathing,

whispers. Elena, scared out of her wits, stands and shivers. "Okay Reno, this isn't funny anymore. Where's

Rude at?" She walks over to the hallway and looks out into the darkness that engulfs Shinra HQ. Nothing.

"Re-" She's cut off when something heavy slams into her and she falls to the ground. She looks up into the

grinning face of none other than Reno. "Hiya 'Lena! Did I scare you?" His grin is replaced with a smirk.

"Reno! Get off of me!" Elena yells. Reno rolls off of her and starts chuckling. "That wasn't funny Reno! You

really scared me. I thought..."Reno cuts in, "Relax 'Laney. You honestly thought I wouldn't try to scare

you? It was just too perfect of an opprotunity." A pause. "Hey Reno? Where's Rude?" Elena asks. "Oh

Rude? Probably down in the lounge by the fire." Reno replies. "Ohhh...Wait, we have a fireplace? What are

we doing up here then? Let's go!" And with that she drags him down the hallway.

**AN: Hmm...I plan on doing another one that will be fluffy. So I guess this is part of a two part drabble. Review please! I love reviews. Oh, and guess what? I have almost 400 hits! And this was posted only six days ago. Yay! I should have the next one out by 4/11/06 or maybe tonight. I'm not sure, but I'm tired. Later guys!**


	5. Storms Part 2

**AN: Hey guys! This is the second part of 'Storms' that I promised I'd do. It will be fluffy, but not too fluffy. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FF7.**

"C',mon Reno!" Elena shouted, anxious to get downstairs to the lounge in front of the warm fireplace.They

had run down three hallways and were nearing the elevator. Elena stopped in front of it and waited. Reno

came up breathing heavily. "Gosh...Elena.We...puff..have all...night." He wheezed. "Oh, shut up Mr. I-run-

away-from-battles-with-AVALANCHE-at-lightining-speed." Elena said. Reno sent her a glare. Finally the

elevator came. Reno pushed the 'down' button, still glaring at Elena. While they were in the elevator, Elena

tapped her foot impaitently and rubbed her cold hands together. "Reno? What the hell is Rude doing in

there?"Elena asked. "How should I know?"Reno replied. "Hmmm..." The elevator stopped at the lounge

floor. "Rude?" Reno called into the darkness. No answer. They went in the direction of the glowing embers

of the fireplace. There they found Rude, asleep, covered in cold ashes. Elena gave Reno a look that said,

'What the hell?' Reno just,shrugged, laughed, and took a step back. "Reno.." Elena started. Too late. Reno

took a running jump and landed on top of Rude. Rude awoke with a start. "Huh..Whuzz go ohn?" He

mumbled out, not fully awake yet. "Move over Rude!" Elena said while pushing Rude off of the stones in

front of the fireplace. She nestled herself in a blanket she had found in the lounge and let out a content sigh.

Reno and Rude settled themselves on either side on Elena, Rude nodding off against the wall, and Reno

with his back hunched up and his toungue lolling out. Elena scooched over and lied her head on Reno

shoulder and soon fell alseep. And in the dreams of all three turks, they realised that storms weren't all that

bad.

**AN: Awww! So cute! Ironic that I should finish this when it's not raining and is perfectly sunny outside.**

**Expect the next one soon. Anybody know any good pranks? I need one.**


	6. Dodgeball

**AN: Heh heh. Sorry about the 3 day wait. But I'm back now! So, this drabble's inspiration I will tell you at the end or else I'll spoil the whole thing. Now on with the drabble.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FF7.**

**Note: I would LOVE to thank Tishannia, who has reviewed everyone of my drabbles so far, and stayed up to 9:30 chatting with me on the PM system.**

Reno's eyebrows lifted in a 'WTF?' way. Elena stuttered a " H-hell no." and Rude was just being calm,old

Rude. Reno ripped the pamphlet off the wall and read on, Elena and Rude looking over his shoulders.

The paper read,

**'Shinra Worker's Excercise Day! **

**Dodgeball game tomight!**

**Be there or be...you don't want to know.'**

and an assortment of other information. "You have GOT to be kidding." Reno said. "Dodgeball?" Elena

said, "Who picks dodgeball as the sport?" They were interrupted by a throat clearing behind them. "That

would be me." A voice said. Elena turned a ghostly white. "Uhh..Umm. Mr. President Rufus, sir. We were

just talking about this-" Reno cut in. "This wonderful excercise program idea, sir! It has to be one of the

most brilliant ideas ever made in this company!" He said with an overly cheery smile. "Uh huh." Rufus said

with a 'What the hell is wrong with you?' look on his face. "Just return to work." And with that he turned

and walked away towards his office. When he was gone, Elena hit Reno on the back of his head, and said,

"What the heck is wrong with you? You made us look like complete idiots!" "Let's just get this _fun _

_activity_ over with." Rude said, emphisizing the words, 'fun activity'.

_Later that night..._

It was eight o' clock, and Elena, Reno, and Rude were wearing blue jerseys that said, '_Team Turks' _on the

back. Elena's face had that 'broken mirror' look on it, and Reno's wasn't much different. Rude's pretty much

had that same 'I'm not really here right now' look. Scarlet, Heigdigger, and Palmer were across the court

wearing red jerseys that said '_executives'_on the back. Reno had drawn the words, 'Fat ass' on the backs of

Palmer's and Heigdigger's shirt and was still chuckling slightly. Scarlet's eye was twitching and she kept

casting glances over to where Rufus sat comfortably on a large fluffy chair. Tseng sat on a bleacher next to

Rufus with a look that said, 'Thank gawd I don't have to play.' Rufus lazily took a whistle and...

_A few hours later..._

"Oww..." Reno moaned, using Elena's shoulder as support since his legs felt like they were on fire. Elena

was sporting a cut cheek and a black eye, while Rude had a busted lip and cracked sunglasses. "I hope

Palmer enjoys that back pain tomorrow..." Rude muttered, refering to when he had thrown Palmer to the

ground after he had broken Rude's shades with a dodgeball. "Hey guys? I know you're the one's who

always say this, but can we go get drunk? This pain is killing me." Elena asked. "Edena, dat's a grea idea."

Reno said through a bloody nose.

_Later..._

"Zzzzzzz..." The three turks all hummed. They had fallen alseep at their favorite bar.

_ End_

**AN: Okay, so that came out pretty retarded. But it was different! Heh heh. Okay, inspiration for this drabble hit me when I was playing dodgeball in P.E. It was BAD. The injuries that the three turks got are examples of what happened to some of my friends. Uhh...expect more soon. Please review!**


	7. Lab Mishaps and Clothes

**AN: Back again with nothing better to do on Easter Break than this. My forums gotten huge and we only have four members. Can you guys join too? It's called, 'You know you like FF7 too much when...'. It's really fun. This drabble I'm just writing just as I go, with help from the comic book, 'Calvin and Hobbes'.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FF7. Oh yeah, 'Calvin and Hobbes'-Bill Waterson.**

'_Sometimes it's hard, being the only girl turk. Other times, it's completly disgusting.' _

_Bang! Thump! Crash!_ "Reno! Shut up!" Elena yelled. Her eye was twitching. She couldn't take much more

of this. She was just trying to complete some files for Tseng and Reno wouldn't shut up. 'He's probably just

trying to get out of doing his share of the work.' Elena thought.

_Elsewhere..._

"Reno,what are you doing?" Rude asked, running a hand down his face. "What?" Reno said. "Wouldn't it

just be easier to do the work instead of trying to find a way to get out of it?"Rude said. "No." Reno replied,

grinning at his friend. They were attempting to sneak down into Hojo's lab, the reason being Reno thought

there would be some way to weasel out of working. When they reached the bottom of the stairs into the lab,

Reno ran over to some complicated looking machinery. He grinned evilly at all the possibilities to pick from.

Rude backed up a foot at his friend slight madness. "Hmm...I wonder what this does?" Reno said, picking up

a tube full of a green substance._ Crack._ "Uh oh."

_Back to Elena..._

_Crack._ 'What are they doing?' Elena asked herself. She stood up and walked over to the door and

opened it. "Reno! Rude! Stop messing around!"No response. "Phff. Boys." She walked out of the turk

offices and towards where she had heard the sound. "Guys!" She called. "My god..." She heard coming

from the lab. "Rude?" She walked over to the stairs and stopped. She hated those labs. She hated Hojo. He

was such a creep. Once, while the three turks were peeking at some old files, they came across some about

Hojo and all the experiments he had done. She had had nightmares. 'Ahh, it's okay. Reno and Rude are down

there anyways. I'll be fine.' She procceded down the steps, and saw something she'll never forget.

_Back to Reno and Rude..._

_Crack._ "Uh oh." Reno said. The green substance exploded all over himself and Rude, though strangely, it

didn't burn. They heard a sizzling sound and looked down at themselves. Their clothes were dissolving

before their very eyes. Rude quickly grabbed a nearby fire extinquisher and sprayed himself and Reno. They

were left only in their underwear. "My god..." Rude said. Suddenly, they heard footsteps coming down the

stairs. They looked up to see Elena, eyebrows raised in a 'WTF?' way. "Hey 'Laney, can a guy get a little

privacy?" Reno said. "Oh this is gonna be good, I can tell." Elena said, nodding her head. "Elena...I can

explain." Rude began. Elena raised her hand and looked at Reno. "What are you doing, in your underwear,

in Hojo's lab?" She said. "Uhh...You see 'Lena. We were just gonna see if we could find a way to get out of

working, and came down here, right? I picked up this cool looking,green liquid filled tube, and broke it and

this is the result. Heh heh." Reno explained. "Uh huh. Okay, can you guys get dressed? I think there's some

spare clothed in the offices." Elena said. "Sure 'Laney." They started walking up the steps, looking very

weird indeed, when Reno said unexpectedly, "Hey, you know? I've always wanted to wear my underwear to

work."

_End_

**AN: Behold! Another drabble from the realm of boredom. This one's okay, I guess. Tell me what you think! Oh, and remember, check out my forum please! We're in huge need of new members.**


	8. The Last Dance

**An: Uggh. I'm sore and stiff after helping my parents garden. I was not happy. Don't worry though, I got inspiration for this drabble from a song my mom kept listening to over and over again. It will be a happy one.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FF7.**

"C'mon guys!" Elena called to her fellow turks, Reno and Rude. They were headed to a popular night club,

Elena's idea as an alternative to them getting drunk at the bar. "Guys, wait right here. I need to got to the

ladie's room. Be right back!" With that Elena hopped off in the direction of the restrooms. Reno smirked,

elbowed his friend, and pointed to the bar. Rude nodded and they went and sat down. When Elena came

out of the restrooms to find her friends near drunk, she sighed and said, "What's the point of coming to a

dance club if we're just gonna get drunk?" "Oh, 'Laney, don't let us spoil your fun. Go dance, we'll be there

in a minute." Rude said, not drunk yet. Reno stood up, grinned, and walked over to Elena. "Hey, 'Lena. Save

the last dance for me, alright?" He said.With that, Reno sat back down and winked at Elena. "Sure Reno."

Elena said, smiling.

**AN: Yeah, short, I know. There really wasn't much for me to go on with. I feel in a typing mood so there might be more drabbles tonight. See ya later!**


	9. That Pretty Boy

**AN: More, more, more. Yes, more. This has got to be one of the most retarded drabbles ever. My forum's gotten bigger, though only has five members. 3 are official. Can ya guys join? Well, this drabbles inspiration is from me having to work all Easter Break. I feel stiff and sore. Enjoy anyway!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FFVII.**

"No...no more...Please." Reno begged, collasping on the ground. Elena only smirked. "I don't think so. Get

back to work Reno." She said. "Whoever planned this was a total retard." Reno said, talking about the chore

they were currently doing which was sweeping a huge patio . "Reno, just get it done, and then we can go

back to headquarters." Rude told him. "But my arms hurt!" Reno whined. "Reno, stop being such a

baby." Elena said. Reno turned around and gave her the big puppy dog eyes and a pouty lip. Elena face

slowly cracked into smile that said, 'Aww!'. "Elena...Don't crack now." Rude said. "But...Just look at him!"

Elena told Rude. "So...Can we go back to headquarters now?" Reno said, still with the puppy dog eyes.

"Of course Reno. Rude, you can handle this can't you? Thanks!" She said, grabbing Reno's hand and

pulling him to their helicopter. "We'll be back later Rude!" Elena called, waving. Reno smirked at Rude

through the glass and held up a sign that said, **_'Oh yeah, I'm smooth'. _**With that the helicopter was gone.

Rude looked down at his broom, then all around him. "Hey...I just got screwed over! That pretty boy."

**AN: Okay, retarded ending, retarded drabble in full. Totally retarded. Heh heh. Review?**


	10. Pencils Part 1

**AN: Another drabble becaused I'm bored and can't find a good Relena fic to read. I'll find one eventually. inspiration for this drabble is from when my brother barged into my room and acted like a total arse.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

Elena sat in her office, her hand in her palm, staring blankly at her computer screen.'So...bored' she

thought to herself. Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. She stood up, walked over to her door and

opened it. "Ye-" She was cut off when someone ran quickly through her door and into her office space. It

was none other than, Reno. He crashed right into her chair, swiveling it around, knocking some files off her

desk in the process. "Yes Reno?" Elena asked. "Hiya 'Lena! Watcha doing?" He said cheerfully. Leave it to

Reno to have slang in every sentence. "Nothing really. What do you want?" Elena replied. "Oh, I was just

wondering if you had a pencil I could borrow?" He said, still smiling. Elena knew for a fact this was not the

reason. They had all just restocked their office supplies last week. "Reno, don't you have your own pencils

to use?" Elena said, annoyed. Reno scratched the back of his head. "Eh heh. About that..." "What did you

do? You're not telling me you used 100 pencils in the last week, are you?" Elena said, shocked. "Oh no, I

used 'em. Just not in the writing way..." Elena held up her hand and went to the door. "Rude!" She called

down the hallway. In a few minutes, Rude was there. "Yeah?" He said. "Rude," Elena said, " Do you know

what Reno did with all his pencils?" Rude looked over Elena's shoulder at Reno. "I told you it was stupid

idea!" He hissed at Reno. Reno just shrugged. "What?" He said. "Could someone please, tell me what's

going on?" Elena said. "Yeah, c'mon 'Lena. We'll show you." Reno told her, beckoning down the hallway.

Elena sighed and followed him. This could not be good.

**AN: Not much of a cliffhanger, or an attention grabber either. Does anyone even want to know what happens? Review please. **


	11. Coffee

**AN: Hi again! I just want to thank everyone for all the reviews. It means a lot to me and makes me think that I'm a good author. So, this drabble, I want you guys to know I WILL continue 'Pencils', I just don't know where to go with it. When I do know, I'll type it. Until then, enjoy this drabble. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything form the world of FFVII.**

"What is it?" Reno asked, looking at the strange new device they had found in the turk's lounge. "I don't

know." Elena said, tilting her head. Rude just raised his eyebrows. Suddenly Tseng walked in. "Huh? You all

act as if you've never seen a coffee maker before." He said. "Oh!" Elena gasped, "Tseng sir! We were

just...Uh..." Tseng put up his hand to silence her. " I don't care what you were doing, just get back to

work." With that, he left. Reno elbowed Elena and said, "I dare you to drink it." Elena cautiously reached

for the coffee maker and pushed the 'On' button. When it was filled up and ready she took a drink and

turned red. Suddenly she started hopping up and down and screaming, "Coffee, coffee, coffee!" Reno's

mouth was hanging open and Rude just stood there, still staring at Elena jump up and down. She started to

run around the room still screaming "Coffee!" when Reno elbowed Rude. He did the eyebrow lift thing and

pointed to the coffee maker. Rude smirked and nodded. It was going to be a chaotic day.

**AN: Okay, done. Inspiration for this came to me when I accidently broke a coffee machine so that it made the coffee extra strong. Whoever drank it...you don't even want to know. Review please! (But you already knew that!)**

**Oh yeah, in response to Jess: Okay, I updated! Where's that cookie?**

**Emily: Thanks. Do you happen to be the user 'Ecchokat'? Why don't you review under your username?**


	12. Staring Contest

**AN: Hello, and welcome to another installment of 'Turk Moments'! I've just seen **

**Advent Children in japanese and it was awesome! Well, anyway, enjoy this drabble!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FFVII.**

"Hey, 'Lena, wanna have a staring contest?" Reno said. "Huh?" Elena asked, looking

up from her work. "A staring contest." Reno said again. "Okay Reno, your on!" She smirked.

"Hmm, right." So, they sat down and began. Tseng and Rude walked by and saw the duo

playing their game. Rude whispered to Tseng. "I think they like to stare into each others eyes."

Tseng spluttered on some water he was drinking. Back to Reno and Elena...Reno still stared

hard at Elena and their eyes soon began to twitch. "Give up yet 'Lena?" "Not on your life Reno."

Reno's hands began to twitch. "It burns." He said. "Yeah." She said back, still staring.

'It's now or never.' Reno thought.He reached down into his pocket and pulled out a

piece of lead he had taken from a pencil. He quickly flicked it into Elena's eye and she blinked.

"A ha!" Reno yelled. "I win." "Rematch!" Elena said, still rubbing her eye.

**End.**

_**Altenate ending. (Because I'm too lazy to type it in another format.)**_

'It's now or never.' Reno thought. He quickly leaned across the table and pulled Elena into a kiss,

eyes still wide open. He saw Elena blink, and he pulled back. He smirked and said, "I win." She

stared at him then said, "Cheater." Reno shook his head. "That's not cheating, that's charm."

"Rematch!" Elena said. "You got it." Reno replied still smirking.

**AN: Heh heh. So, that came out good. I just want to say all the stuff in this drabble happened**

**in my homeroom class at school today, and I thought it'd make a good drabble. I also have the **

**next drabble typed up already. Review if you want it out tonight. Bye!**


	13. Joker

**AN: Pending, pending, pending. Okay, it's 11:44 pm and I'm still not tired.I'm just **

**typing away.Heh heh. I've already typed 4 drabbles. This drabble is a challenge I was **

**asked to do. Create a (Really)weird pairing and write a one-shot. I hope this dosn't freak**

**you guys out too bad.I got the idea for this drabble after I read an Insane!Elena and Blood **

**obsessed!Reno fic. Heh heh. It sure was morbid...yet so romantically deadly. I'm sure I'm **

**scaring you guys,so on with the drabble! (Don't worry, it's only rated T.)**

Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FFVII.

The cards were so captivating. It felt so magical. The fiend ran a finger down my face, teasing my

fellow turks. "You've pissed off the wrong guys!" Reno shrieked, running toward the Joker. The Joker

put up a hand and waggled a finger from side to side, instantly stopping Reno. Reno slowly backed

up towards Rude, glaring at the fiend. The Joker pulled a card from his deck and lazily threw it at them.

Spade. Reno was sliced by a blade and let out a scream. It missed Rude. Reno slowly

got up from the ground and picked up his electro-mag-rod and aimed it at the fiend. "Let Elena go!"

he yelled. The Joker only chuckled and pulled me closer to him. I gritted my teeth. "That bastard."

Reno said, frustrated, to Rude. Rude looked toward the fiend. "What can we do?" Rude asked.

"Elena," Reno called, "Can you do something other than just stand there? Kick him or something!"

"Oh..." I said. So I did, and we ran away, like we always do. I looked at the guys. Reno had that huge

slice down his chest, Rude was covered in bruises from where the Joker's diamond card's attack had hit

him, and I had a cut on my cheek where the Joker had slid his hand down my face. Damn Jokers. "Hey

guys, next time we plan to go to Gold Saucer, let's not walk and take our helecopter." I said. "Right."

AN: Man, that came out really different than how I thought it would. In fact, that was pretty bad. Crap

even. I don't think I'll take any more challenges from her anymore. I'd be happy if I got reviews

though. Maybe? And don't worry, the next one is soooo much better.


	14. Shattered

**AN: Another drabble 'cause I'm bored and this has been going through my head for about a week.**

**Reno's POV. Possibly OOC, I don't know. I'm half-asleep when I'm typing this.**

Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FVII.

I remember when I first saw the rookie. Annoying, little, bubbly blond, that's what she was to me.

But don't get me wrong, I like the little rookie. You could even go as far as to say I love her like a

sister...or more. She was always fun to tease. Unlike Rude, who wouldn't give a damn what I did,

just sit there and be silent, or Tseng, who'd give you the 'I'm going to kill you' glare. I remember

the smile on her face when Tseng offered to take her out to dinner. Pure joy, that's what it was.

Then, when she heard the news. The news of Tseng's death, she shattered. Her smile, her

hope, her happiness. Maybe even her heart, I don't know. But I know one thing. It's gonna take

a lot of glue, tape, and maybe even staples, but I'm gonna fix that little rookie. Put the pieces back

together, one by one. And I promise, one day I'm gonna get her to smile just like that day at the

Temple of the Ancients.

**AN: Wow. I just stunned myself. That was deep. And yes, I know Tseng is alive in Advent Children,**

**but the story wouldn't make sense if he was alive. I thought this turned out great. Review please!**


	15. Strategy First, Love Later 1

**AN: Hi guys! It's been a while but I'm back. This site outage has really been annoying but I survived**

**and had a lot of time to write too! So, this drabble. I think I might make it into a doujinshi with help from one of my best net friends, Tishannia. Thanks again, Bree!**

**P.S. In my last drabble, I'm aware that Tseng was dead, but seeing as how all of these drabble are not connected unless the chapter title has 'Part' in it, he will be in this fic.**

**Disclaimer:I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FFVII.**

Reno banged his head against the wall of the cable car. "Are we there yet?" He asked

his friend Rude. Rude looked out the window. "Nope." He said. Reno sighed. For the celebration

of the constuction of god-knows-what weapon, all Shinra employees were headed for Gold Saucer.

"Hey Reno, what are you gonna do when we get there?" Rude asked. "I'm not sure." Reno

responded. "Hmm..." While Reno pondered, Rude looked into the other compartment where

Elena and Tseng were. Elena was goggling out the window at the up-coming theme park and

Tseng sat talking on a cell phone. Elena turned and said something to Tseng, but he just

swatted her away. Reno came to look over Rude's shoulder. "Watcha looking at?" Reno

saw Elena looking sad and Tseng talking on his phone. Suddenly Reno's eyes lit up. "Hey

Rude! I got an idea!"He said. "Oh no."Rude said back. "How about, when we get to Gold

Saucer, we make a bet?" Reno replied. "What kind of bet?" Rude asked. Reno looked back

through the window at Elena, then at Rude. "The first one to get a kiss from 'Lena gets 10,000

gil." Reno said and smirked. "What!" Rude exclaimed. "Hey guys, we're here!" Elena called

through the compartment door and skipped out. "And it begins..." Reno said to Rude while

getting out and heading toward the gate of the Gold Saucer.

**AN: Heh heh. I had fun writing this! You can count on another chapter of it! **

**I also want to thank my loyal reviewers, Emily, Jess, Tishannia (Of course!), Lady Lilliana(You rock Lilliana!), Malina Graveyard, JazzX,umichan21, Laili The Turk, Damon Demon, Rose-Mirror21 (This fic's in her C2!), and Tim (He gave me some good advice.) Thank you all, and I'll let you guys know as soon as the doujinshi's finished!**

**In Next Chapter: "What, may I ask, are you doing?" a voice said behind them. Rude's eyes widened**

**and Reno's mouth formed an 'O'. They turned around. 'Man, we're screwed.' Reno thought.**

**Heh heh. I love teasers. **


	16. Strategy First, Love Later 2

**AN: Back again 'cause people really seemed to like the first part. So, this is the next part in 'Strategy First, Love Later'. Heh heh. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FFVII.**

Reno looked on as Elena checked into the ghost hotel, hiding behind a bellhop trolley, Rude just behind

him. "So tonight it is, right?" He whispered to Rude. "You're going down Reno." Rude whispered back.

"What, may I ask, are you doing?" a voice said behind them. Rude eyes widened and Reno's mouth formed

an 'O'. They turned around. 'Man, we're screwed.' Reno thought. Rufus Shinra stood looking at them with

a curious look on his face. "Huh?" Rufus said. "Uhh..we were just doing something." Reno said. Rude

elbowed him. "Owww..." Reno whined. "You idiot." Rude said. "Hello?" Rufus cut in, "I'm still here." Reno

and Rude both turned their heads towards him. "And you want?" Reno asked. Rufus's eyebrows shot up.

He looked towards where Elena was still standing at the check-in counter and at Reno and Rude who were

sitting in their supposedly 'hidden' place, which was facing towards Elena. "Okay, what are you doing and

what does it have to do with Elena?" He demanded. "Damnit. Should we tell him?" Rude asked Reno. "I can

hear you from here, and I demand you tell me. Now." Rufus said, staring to get a angry and bored with this

no sense conversation. Reno sighed. "Okay, we're making a bet. First one to get a kiss from 'Lena gets

10,000 gil. Happy?" "Watch your tone, Reno." Rufus said, "But sure, count me in." Reno's mouth dropped

open. "Are you serious? Don't you have enough money already?" He said. Rufus glared at him. "And, your

point?" he asked. "Nevermind." Reno muttered. "So, when does this little contest begin?" Rufus asked.

"Tonight," Rude said, "We have to..." Reno stopped him. "Listen up men," he said. Rufus gave him a

surprised, 'WTF?' look and Rude's eyebrows rose. "This is what we call a contest of 'Strategy first, love

later'. Each of us need to plan a strategy and complete it. Now let's move out!" With that, Reno ran up the

stairs. Rufus turned to Rude. "What the hell was that?" He asked. "I seriously have no idea."Rude said

back. They both shrugged. "I guess be better go 'plan' as Reno calls it." Rude said blankly. Rufus smirked.

"You're going down." Rufus said. "We'll just see." Rude said back.

**AN: Uggh. My hands hurt. That was kinda long, I guess. Tune in next time, for the following chapter of **

**'Strategy First, Love Later'! More excitment in the next chapter. Sorry, no teasers for this one. Oh, and I want to thank my wonderful reviewers again. Thanks guys!**


	17. Strategy First, Love Later 3

**AN: Another installment of 'Strategy First, Love Later'. Enjoy. **

**P.S. Me and Tishannia have started on the doujinshi for this story! Thanks again Bree!**

**Dislcaimer: I do not own the turks, Rufus, or anything from the world of FFVII.**

"Ahh...What to do? What to do?" Elena asked herself, looking out the window at Gold Saucer. Suddenly,

there was a knock at her door. She went to answer it and saw Rude. "Ahem, Elena, I was wondering..."

Although Elena barely heard him. She was too engrossed on what was going on outside in the hallway.

Reno was atop Rufus's shoulders and repeatedly hitting him with his EMR, though, thankfully, it was turned

off. Rufus, meanwhile, ran around like a chicken with his head cut off and was trying to knock Reno off by

running into the wall...many times. They looked up suddenly and saw her staring at them. Rufus began to

run towards her, Reno still on his shoulders, when Rude grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the

room, and locked the door. Rude started to speak again when he was interrupted by a loud _Clunk! _on the

other side of the door, followed by a swear word from Reno. "Your fault...Too slow...WTF?" "Elena! Did

you hear me?" Rude asked, exasperated. "Uh, no. What did you say?" Rude slapped his hand to his

forehead and ran it down his face. "I said, would you like to come to the Battle Square with me? Many

times." He said. "Oh, "replied Elena, blushing."Sure, but do you know what that was about in the hallway?"

she asked as they stepped out of the room and into the hallway to see an unconsious Rufus and a

grumbling Reno that barely noticed them walk down the stairs and out of the hotel. "No idea."

_Later..._

"That will be 10 GP. Will you be entering one at a time or together?" The lady at the Battle Square

counter asked. "Both of us, please." Elena said, smiling. She loved to show off her skills during battle. After

all, she was the most powerful of the three, due to Reno being lazy and getting drunk most of the time

during training, and Rude along with him. She watched as he equiped materia for the both of them, and

started walking into the Arena. She followed him.

_Later...Because I suck at battle scenes._

"Uggh!" Elena slammed into the Arena wall. "Elena! Are you okay?"Rude asked, worry in his tone. "Yeah,

I'm fine Rude. Damn fiend. Did you finish it off?" She said. "Yeah," Rude replied, "5000 GP is ours." "Thanks

Rude. I'm having a great time." They walked out of the Arena to see Rufus. He waved at Elena. "Oh Elena!

Are you quite finished with your," he looked at Rude with a piercing look, "date with Rude?" He said.

"Oh!" Elena blushed."It's not a date, it's a...a." "Never mind that." He replied, "I was wondering if you'd like

to accompany me to the Chocobo Square?" "Umm..." she threw an uneasy look at Rude. "Sure, why

not?"she finished, taking the arm he offered. They started walking off when Rufus threw a smirk at Rude.

Rude glared back, still holding he 5000 GP. When they had gone, he dropped the cash and kicked the wall,

only to get a throbbing pain in his foot. "Damn it."

**AN: Gawd, this chapter took forever. I really had no idea of what to do for the date and just took a suggestion Tishannia gave me. Thanks again! Okay teaser...**

**'Oh my god...' Elena thought. 'Hmm...10000 gil, here I come.' Rufus thought.**

**Really short though. Review please!**


	18. Strategy First, Love Later 4

**AN: Omigosh, I haven't updated in forever! Sorry guys! Here's an update for you! I'm bored, so I thought I'd go ahead and post the 4th part of 'Strategy First, Love Later'. Up next, Rufus's date with Elena. So...yeah.**

**Disclaimer:I do not own the turks or anything from the world of FFVII, though I really, really, really would like to.**

"So, where to, Sir?" Elena asked as they strolled towards the station. "Please, Elena, call me Rufus." He

said. "Okay. Where to, Rufus?" She replied. "I was thinking the Chocobo Square. Didn't I say that

already?" He said. "Oh," Elena blushed, "Right Sir, but I didn't know you could ride chocobos." "I can't.

We're betting on the races." He said. "Yes, Sir...I mean, Rufus." Elena spluttered. So, after a bet on Chocobo

number four, and a visit to the snack bar later, we join Rufus and Elena sitting on some bleachers waiting for

the race to start. When the horn blew to annouce the race starting, Elena looked over to where Rufus sat. He

had an incredibly bored look on his face. Elena raised her eyebrows. Something strange was going on. Rude

asking her on a date, when he'd never shown any interest in her before, Reno and Rufus fighting in the

hallway, and suddenly Rufus inviting her to the chocobo races. Yes, something really weird was going on,

and she'd bet all her gil that it had something to do with Reno. And money. Definately Reno and money.

Damn. "Elena...? Elena?" Rufus said. Elena focused back into reality. "Yes?" "The race is over. Number four

got second. Can you go collect our winnings?"Rufus replied. Elena nodded and scurried off. Rufus grinned

and looked towards the finish line. Roses littered the ground 'This is going to be too easy.' He thought.

**_To Elena_**

'Only 200 gil? That doesn't seem fair.' Elena thought. 'Oh well.' After gathering up the gil, and turning around

keeping a lookout for Rufus, she saw that he was nowhere to be seen. "Rufus? Rufus!" She called, only to

spot him sitting outside of the Chocobo station, sitting on the doorstep to the Ghost station. He was busy

twiddling a rose in his hands and staring absently at the ground. He looked up, and smiled at her. He stood

up, dusted off his jacket and began walking over to her. The whole time Elena's eyes were wide and she had

a 'What?' expression on her face. He gave her a smirk, and held out the rose. Her eyebrows lifted and she

held out her hand. He pushed the rose into her hand and took a step closer. "Umm...Mr. P-president...?" She

stuttered. 'Hmm...10,000 gil, here I come.' Rufus thought. 'Oh my god!' Elena thought. He slowly leaned in

and...

**AN: Ha ha! I am so evil! And the thing is, I have the next part already typed out! You must review if you want to know what happens! Hee hee hee.**


	19. Strategy First, Love Later 5

**AN:Back again and...GUESS WHAT? I figured out how to put FFVII music on my computer so now I'm listening to 'Chasing the Black Caped Man'. But, one thing. Sephiroth is not wearing a cape! It's a trenchcoat. God, it pisses me off. Now, I shall stop my ramblings and get on with the fic that you've all been dying to see.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII.**

_**In last chapter:**_

_He pushed the rose into her hand and took a step closer. "Umm...Mr. P-president...?" She _

_stuttered. 'Hmm...10,000 gil, here I come.' Rufus thought. 'Oh my god!' Elena thought. He slowly leaned in _

_and..._

_**Now, on with the fic!**_

"'Lena!" "Huh?" Elena quickly turned, making Rufus trip over himself and fall onto the ground. She

saw Reno running towards them from the Ghost station tube. She looked down at Rufus, who was rubbing

his head and muttering "Snap, snap, snap!" Reno arrived at them and gave Rufus a glare. "Hey 'Lena,

wanna go on the gondola with me?" He gave her a big smile. 'That smile is so friggin' fake.' Elena thought.

Elena gave him a questioning look, then looked down at Rufus, and next thought about her date with Rude.

She slowly came to grasp what was going on. "Sure Reno." She gave them both a flirty smile and began

walking off, slowly swinging her hips from side to side. "Yes, yes. I do have a thing with the _ladies._" Reno

said. "But..." He slowly reached down and took off his shoe and threw it at Rufus. Well, considering this

was at very close range, it must have hurt. Alot. "What was that back there? She's supposed to kiss _you._

Not you kiss her. Idiot..." Reno said. He should have saved himself the trouble, seeing as how Rufus was

unconsious.

_**To Elena...**_

Elena looked at her options. 1) Kill Reno or 2)Kiss Reno. Neither seemed very good. 'Damn...'

"Yo 'Lena! You ready babe?" Reno said, elbowing her. Elena's eye twitched. '_Nobody _called her babe.

Well...maybe except Tseng...' Elana quickly shook her head. "Let's just get on." she said. Whilst on the

gondola, Elena sat on one side, and Reno sat on the other. He smirked at her and moved to sit beside her.

She then moved to the other side. He moved again, she moved again. "Will you just leave me alone?" Elena

asked. "Hey, you came with _me._" He replied. "Well, you asked me." She said back.

"But you came with me."

"But you asked me."

"You came with me on your own!"

"You flippin' asked me!"

"You chose to!"

Elena banged her head against the window and let it rest there. "God, just make it end." Reno did the same.

"God, just let me win." Elena looked up. "What was that?" She asked. Reno quickly averted his eyes.

"Nothing." When the ride finally ended, thank god, they got out and Elena instantly headed towards the

Ghost Hotel. Reno tagged along behind her. When they reached the gate, Elena said. "What do you want

from me?" Reno bit his lip to buy time. "Uh, you see 'Laney, I kinda..." Elena thought fast. She thought

back to her date with Rude. 'He was nice, but there was the time when Rufus tried to kiss me...Oh, screw it.'

"...And, you see, on the ride here-" Elena cut him off. "Oh, shut up. I know what you want." She said. "Oh,

you d-" He was instantely cut short when Elena suddenly pulled him down to her level and pushed their lips

together. Pulling back, Elena said, "There, are you happy? Now leave me alone." She continued the walk up

to the hotel while Reno stood there, frozen at what had just happened. "Eh...What..?" He suddenly grapsed

what the hell had just happened. He turned to see Rufus and Rude, both with their mouths agape. Rude had

his foot in a cast and was currently using crutches. Rufus's head was circled with bandages and he had a

rather large bump near his right ear. "This is seriously screwed up." Rufus said. Reno smirked and silently

walked towards them, his hand held out...

**AN: Whoo hoo! Done, finally! OMG, this took forever but I finished! Yay-ness! Please review. It really means alot. PLUS, next chapter is already typed out!**

**And, note to Tishannia: Don't get flustered about the doujinshi. You have alot of work to do so, we're taking it slow. Okay? I know you're working on the cover Friday, and that's so awesome! Once again, you rock.**


	20. Signature

**AN: So, w00t! Finished with 'Strategy First, Love Later'! Now begins the random drabbles again!**

**So, this one is for Pearie, who asked for a Rufus/Elena drabble, and that's what they'll get. (In fact, I am a fan of this pairing, but there's only three fics for them! Hmm...I have an idea! Anyone who writes me a Rufus/Elena fic will recieve a 2 drabbles, with pairings of their choice, and I shall post them in my other drabble collection, called 'Random Happenings'.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

**Note: Reference to last chapters, to come chapters, and other fics. Info at bottom.**

Please?" She asked him, looking up at him with begging eyes. He looked down at the rookie. "No." He then

attempted to walk away, but she caught his arm. "'Lena, let go!" He said. "Not until you agree." She said,

planting her feet firmly on the ground, while still having a strong grip on his arm. Reno leaned towards her

face, and said blankly, "There is no way in _hell,_ that I will do _that._" Elena stuck out her lip in a pout. "All

you have to do is write a few words on a letter." Reno then attempted to pull away from Elena, but failed.

"Elena, if you don't want to be aquainted with my electro-mag rod, I suggest you let me go." Reno

threatened. "Oh hush, your 'Mag', if over there. 7 feet away." Elena said. "Hey, don't make fun of Mag!"

Reno then turned to see his 'Mag', on the other side of the room. "Damn...it..." Elena snapped her fingers,

bringing Reno's attention to her. "So, are you gonna do it?" She asked. Reno looked at his options.

1)Do as she asked and make her happy, plus being set free,

or 2)facing the wrath of 'Lena who, judging by how she was acting now, was at 'That time of the month'.

Reno nodded. Yep, definately number one. "So, what do I gotta do again?" Elena frowned. "Well, seeing as

how you _'accidentely' _beat up the president at the Gold Saucer, I'd thought I'd make him...a get well soon

card. But the thing is, I want you to write it. I'm too...embarassed to write it myself." Elena blushed. Reno

simply had a bored look on his face. "Uh huh, and what happens if the writer doesn't keep quiet?" He said.

Elena gave him a death glare. "You'll meet my gun." Reno scoffed. "You would never shoot me." "I never

said what type of gun, now did I?" Elena smirked. Reno raised an eyebrow. "What do you have?" He asked.

"Never mind, let's just write the note, okay?" "Okay, but I'll find it Elena." Reno said. Elena's face instantly

got a 'WTF?' look. "What is wrong with you?" Reno coughed. "Nothing, let's start." He said. Elena

nodded and handed him a pen and some folded paper. He sat down at a nearby table, while Elena leaned up

against the wall. "A pen? Why not a pencil?" Reno asked, looking up at her. "You don't remember what

happened to all those pencils? Those 100 pencils that Shinra gave us all?" She said, with a questioning

look. "Oh yeah...That was...disturbing." Reno shivered slightly. "Okay, write down 'Get well soon' with a

smilely face beside it!" Elena smiled wide. "Oh, oh yeah. Want me to add some little hearts too?" Reno

asked sarcastically. "Leave it to a woman to write something like that." Elena's eyes widened. "Why you

stereotypical jerk! Just write the letter so you can go! If it makes you happy, write 'You are a wonderful

president!' okay?" Reno muttered "Why yes, you are a wonderful witch." "What was that?" Elena said

sharply. "Nothing, nothing." Now, being a turk meant lots of paperwork, and lots of paperwork means alot

of signing things. This happened to be a habit of Reno's. At the end of the paper, he wrote his signature in

tall, sloppy cursive letters. After 2.056 seconds he realised what he had just done. He cursed. "You signed

your name, eh?" Elena asked. "Yeah, can I have another piece of paper?" "Hmm..." Elena searched around

the turk offices, finding no paper. The secretary outside of the offices had no paper either. "Where's all the

paper?" Elena asked Reno. A voice down the hall in the coffee room, which sounded mysteriously like Rude

called "I don't know! Err..." Elena groaned. "No pencils, no paper. This is really strange." Reno nodded.

"Yeah...Do you think the card would work if I just scratched out my name?" "Maybe...Go ahead and do it."

Elena replied. So, scratching out the signature, and letting Elena add some 'Girlish touches' to the card, they

slipped it into a blue envolope and put it through the young president's private mail slot. Elena smiled as she

walked back to her office space and began signing more paperwork with her signature. Reno went back to

his desk, which was located right near Elena's, and put his feet up, leaned back his head, and drifted off into

a doze. He snored slightly, but this once, Elena didn't mind.

**Later that night...**

Rufus sat down at his desk to read his daily mail, his peach flora tea (Doctor's orders, said it'd help his slight

concusion.) off to the side. A bright blue envolope caught his eye. He picked it up and slowly opened it and

unfolded the paper inside. Taking a drink of tea, he read the note:

_**Dear Sir,**_

_**Get well soon. You are a wonderful president!**_

_**--------**_

which was decorated in hearts and happy faces that made Rufus want to gag. Taking another drink of tea,

Rufus looked down at the scribbles and cross-outs at the bottom of the note. He could make out a word.

'Lena?' Elena sent this? No.' he took another drink and looked closer. 'Len'? Leno, Leno, Leno. Reno?'

Rufus spit out his tea, which nearly soaked all of his desk. 'What...the...hell...?'

**AN: Tee hee. I liked writing this one. T'was very fun. Review please! I have another one already planned out!**


	21. Private Eye Reno

**AN: Because I've always wanted to put Reno in the place of an old fashioned private eye. Based on a comic in 'Calvin and Hobbes'.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix. And, 'Calvin and Hobbes' is to Bill Watterson. Not me.**

**Note: **_Reno's thoughts and narration, _Regular is scene change.

It was a pretty normal day at Shinra. Elena was simply walking back to her office after lunch only to find a

horrible surprise. Her computer was on the ground, completely smashed. "Ahh! Who did this?" One word

came to mind. 'Reno...'

**To Reno...**

Reno sat in an abandoned office down the hall from the turks's. A smoke dangling from his lips, his head

bent, him wearing an old fashioned detective hat he had found in Reeve's office, (Sometimes sneaking

around with Rude had its benefits, though why Reeve had this would never be known.) and the light

dimmed, this was the perfect setting. Now, for the effect of overly dramatic narration...

_Elena's scream reached an octive a little higher than usual, which meant something was definately_

_wrong. But, it also meant I had a case._

Reno grinned. Watching those old Private Eye movies with Rude had sparked this 'moment'.

_I was a Private Eye. Snooping payed the Bills though. Especially Bill, the trainee, and Bill, the probation _

_officer. _

Elena, to put it simply, was pissed. She barged into the abandoned office and gave Reno an 'I going to kill

you. Now.' glare.

_When a bubbled headed blond opened my door with a case, my heart did a few 'I'm going too die' flips _

_and I took the job. The dame said she had a case, she seemed like a case herself, but I can't choose my _

_clients._

Elena roughly dragged Reno back to the turk offices and pointed to the heap of broken computer pieces.

_She was the pushy type, the kind who'd break your heart. Or your arms. Most likely your arms. I stared at _

_the mess. Either she had an insane decorater, or someone had trashed her place in a hurry._

"Well Reno? Did you have anything to do with this?" Elena screeched. Reno put his chin in his hand

and went into deep thought.

_The dame was hysterical. Most dames are._

"Reno, I know you did it. Just admit you did." Elena said. Reno bent down and searched the area. He even

went as far as to get down on his hands and knees to just crawl around the area, seemingly looking for

something. "Hold on, let me search for clues." Elena was not amused. She slowly reached for Reno's EMR,

caught it, turned it on, and faced it towards him. Reno froze at the buzzing sound.

_The 'ZZZ' alerted me of what really was going on. The dame had set me up! She wanted to pin the crime _

_on me!_

"Well Reno?" Elena said, waving the EMR back and forth.

_I didn't like the way this story was turning out, so I decided to write a new ending as co-author. I _

_introduced the dame to a friend who's very close to my heart. A little down and left to be specific. My _

_friend is a very persuasive speaker. He made three profound arguments while I excused myself from the _

_room. I always leave when the talk get philosophical. _

Elena dropped the EMR to hold up her hands in front of herself to sheild herself from the incoming water.

"You found my water gun?" Elena shouted. Reno grinned. "I told you I would." Unfortunately for Reno,

the water ran out at this time and Elena was _very _mad. And I mean _very._ "Oh, you're in deep trouble now

Reno! Tseng!"

_I was just about to make my getaway when the dame's hired goon jumped out of nowhere and practiced _

_for his chiropractic degree, meaning 'Bore the hell out of Reno with your lecture'. He was playing _

_Lecturezart in Boresville, and I had a season pass, front row seats._

"Reno, you do not shoot Elena with a water gun." Tseng scolded. " And another thing..."

_I had figured out who trashed the dame's office, but seeing as how she was no longer my client, I decided _

_to keep the information confidential. Besides, the culprit happened the be a buddy of mine. I closed the _

_case._

**Later that day...**

"Hey Reno, I guess we shouldn't have tried to throw a football in the offices, huh?" Rude asked. Reno

nodded.

**AN: So, end I guess. I had to change a few lines in the comic to make it fit, but this is basically what happened. Review please! I dunno if I like this one or not...**


	22. Award Day

**AN: 'Nother one. I sure have written alot...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

"So, I want everyone to look their best and," He shot a look at Reno, "everyone on their best behavior. Got

it?" Tseng finished. Reno leaned back in his chair. "Sure." Elena smiled happily at Tseng and nodded. "Yes

sir." Rude nodded also. When Tseng had left, Elena's excitement level had risen dangerously. "Can you

believe it? A Turk Award's Day!" She exclaimed. Reno looked bored. "Why are you so excited? We just

sit there, get our names called, and get a little piece of metal for our 'special talents'." Suddenly Reno lit up.

"'Special talents'? Yeah..." He muttered. Elena looked at him oddly. "Are you okay?" Reno looked up at her

and grinned. "Never better." He said, and got up and left. Rude shook his head. "I don't like that look. He's

up to something." Elena nodded. "Yes he is."

_**Later at the Awards Ceremony...**_

The turks were leaned up against the back wall of the huge gym-like room. All wearing formal clothing. Elena

wearing a simple pale blue dress with a sash around her arms, her hair pinned up in a sapphire barette. Rude

wearing a suit similar to what they usually wore, except it being black. Tseng wore one too.

Reno wore the same thing, except without a tie and it being wrinkled. Elena stood next to Reno, scolding

him about his slovenly attire, and also laughing at his apperence at the same time. "You look like a

penguin." She snipe-whispered. "Yeah, well, you look like a bluish, periwinklish, azurish...thing." He

snipe-whispered back, unable to think of a comeback. "Really? I'm surprised you even knew that many

types of blue." Elena said, mocking surprise. Tseng gave them a glare, and Rude whispered "Shut up, the

president is about to speak." All four turks looked up to see the young president scrambling around with

some notecards.****"So, now we shall give the medals to the turks, according to their special trait and

nominations." Rufus Shinra said. "First up," He looked down at his notecards, made a strange face, stiffled a

laughed, and then cleared his throat. "Okay, nominated to most likely annoy the hell out of someone

is...Elena!" Elena's face suddenly got a 'broken mirror' look and her mouth dropped open. Face red, she raced

up onto the stage and swiped the medal, and quickly ran back next to Reno. She thought she heard

snickering, but when she turned to Reno, he wasn't doing anything. Looking back up at Rufus, she saw him

take out his next notecard and read "Next, nominated to most likely have a stick shoved up their ass

is...Tseng!" Tseng's jaw plummeted and his eyes went wide. "What...?" Still with that look on his face, he

went up to the stage, only to be met by a snickering Rufus. Grabbing his medal, he went back to his fellow

turks, to find them stiffling more laughs. He gave them a glare, and went to stand next to Rude. "Okay,"

Rufus said, "Now, nominated to most likely become a model for Rogain hair growth products...is Rude!"

Rude nearly shouted "What the hell?" and Reno and Elena broke into hysterics. Running swiftly to the

stage and back, Rude then stood next to Tseng, wondering what the _hell _had just happened. "And finally,"

Rufus stated, "Nominated to most likely be the sexiest turk to walk the planet is...Reno!" Reno walk slowly

towards the stage, arms raised, saying "Thank you, thank you." Upon his return, Elena raised her eyebrows,

Rude went "What...?" and Tseng gave him a 'death glare'. Reno laughed and started to walk away.

Changing the president's notecards had been a wondeful idea. He needed to do that for the executive's

Award day too. Maybe he would...

**AN: Okay, let me tell you, I nearly broke into hysterics myself writing this. I loved the Rude part! Review please! **


	23. A Grave Misunderstanding

**AN: A simple Rufus/Yuffie drabble written as another prize for Kit Thesbian. She had won a contest and requested this pairing in a drabble, but I didn't really write that good of one so, here's another. In my opinion there are too few Rufus/Yuffies out there so I'm happy to contribute this. Enjoy Kit! Even though you'll probabaly never find it, seeing as how you don't read 'Turk Moments'.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rufus, Yuffie, or FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

**Note: Post-AC, and _just keep reading. _**

_Bonk!_ Yuffie set her helment down on her motorcycle by the entrance to the Healin Lodge. _Yikkg! _Yuffie

brought her hand up to her mouth. She seriously needed to find another way of transportation. 'Damn

motion sickness.' She thought. She walked into the building to see Reno messing around with a ping-pong

paddle, Rude staring in awe at the ping-pong ball, and Tseng looking through some papers. Yuffie walked

down the room and saw Elena writing something at her desk. Her wrist jutted slightly out of her sleeve, and

a bloody bandage appeared to be wrapped around it. She looked up, and hastily covered her wrist. "Oh,

Yuffie. The president can see you now. Go on in." Pondering Elena's wrist, Yuffie walked to the end of the

room, and opened a door to see Rufus Shinra, cured of Geostigma, writing at a desk. He did not seem to hear

her footsteps, but it turns out, he did. "Yuffie, what did you want? I'm busy and do not have time for your

childish antics." Yuffie glared at him. "Cloud says you want to rebuild Shinra." Yuffie said accusingly.

Rufus looks up, his blonde locks falling over his forehead. He looked out the window at the cranes set for

rebuilding Shinra. "Me and my company owe a debt to this planet. We must rebuild Shinra to rebuild the

world. And we're going to be using that oil field Wallace found, so don't worry about any mako reactors."

Yuffie looks at him oddly. "You were supposed to inherit the world, weren't you? But you fell, and so did

your company, and then the planet fell too, didn't it?" Rufus looked down. "What happened was wrong, we

ignored AVALANCHE's warnings of the planet's safety, and then everything went down from there. But

this time, Shinra wil rise to a better age, one for the planet's well being. Don't you understand?" Yuffie

banged her fist down on his desk. "No! Shinra was only a company of lies! And you and your company,

_Mr. President_, tried to murder the planet! But _I _helped save it. Me and AVALANCHE. We tore you down

and saved everyone, even you." She gave him a piercing look. "I don't care what you say, it will be done."

Rufus bit back. Yuffie got a very angry expression and pulled out her current weapon...a pinwheel. Rufus

laughed. "A pinwheel? You'd think a 'Savior of the Planet' would have a much powerful weapon, wouldn't

you?"Yuffie gave him a death glare and swiped the pinwheel across his face, leaving a trail of blood on his

cheek, and instantly shutting him up. "You...cut me." He stood up indignately. "You cut me!" He gritted his

teeth at her. "How _dare_ you?""Oh, I'm _so _sorry, Mr. President." Yuffie said sarcastically. Rufus glared at

her. "I'll show you." he whispered. Moving so he was in front of his desk he said, "So, what are you going

to do?" He asked casually. Yuffie gritted her teeth at him. "You know," He said, "you're _really_ cute when

you're angry." Yuffie gasped and let her pinwheel clutter to the floor. "W-what?" She stuttered. "Yes, you're

much prettier than when I last saw you, on the Highwind all those years ago." Yuffie's eyes widened. "I

don't like where this is going." Rufus smirked. "Oh, but _I _do."

**To the turks...**

"Hey," Elena said, looking up from her desk and at Reno."What's that noise?" Rude looked towards the

president's office door. "Yeah," He said, "I hear it. It appears to be a...bumping sound." Tseng's eyebrows

shot up and Reno's mouth dropped. "What the hell?"

**Later...**

Yuffie walked out of Rufus's office, a smug look on her face. "Hey Brat," Reno said, " You do know there's

blood on your cheek, right?" Yuffie smirked at him. "Yeah Reno, I do." And she left, leaving all the turks

with 'What?' expressions on their faces.

**Later that day...**

"Hey boss," Reno said, "You don't look so good." Indeed he didn't. Both cheeks were bleeding, his head

had a bandage wrapped around it, and he had a bruised look about him. "How could she have beat me?"

Rufus looked up. "Didn't I tell you to _load_ my shotgun?" Elena looked at him oddly. "You _fought_ her?"

"Yeah, and I lost too." Rude and Tseng relaxed. "Well, thank god!" Reno exclaimed, "'Cause we

thought...with the bumps..and the...you know..." Rufus got a 'WTF?' look on his face. "You thought...

and the bumps...Oh my god Reno!" He paused. "Get out...now. Before I shoot you." And with that, they all

fled from his office. Rufus sighed. His turks were all idiots. Didn't he _say_ his gun wasn't loaded?

**AN: Whoa, I really had you sweatdropping for a minute there, didn't I? First Serious, the 'M' rated, then in Limbo, and then Humor.**

**I love Fanfiction.**

**P.S. I know this is in AC world, next oneshot will be in FFVII world though. I hope I'm not confusing you!**


	24. OOC and Weird!

**AN: Auggh! I'm behind on my fic! Must get more work in...Sorry for not getting a chapter in on Wed. night, I had to paint my room, meaning my computer was unhooked and all, and last night the server was down on FFdotnet.**

**Okay, so this is my entry for an OOC challenge, but it's also an entry for an unusual pairing challenge, got it?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, yah yah yah.**

**Note: Do not take this seriously. I'm simply screwing around with pairing choices and ways to make them OOC. This will NOT be my best work, okay? BTW, I'm sure I'm gonna LMAO while I'm typing this.**

Elena stared hungrily at him. He was so _perfect. _So..._well built. _So..._beautiful._ She must have him. It was

decided. That night, she'd get him.

---------------------------------------------------

Elena slipped into his apartment room. She looked around to see such a mess. Old fast food bags and

empty sacks littered the ground. How he could live with such a slob, she did not know. Well, anyway, must

continue on...She entered his room to see him laying there so peacefully. He was angelic, the way he shone

in the moonlight. She quietly tip-toed over to where he rested, and lovingly caressed his backside. Picking

him up gently, she whispered 'I love you.' She must have been a little too loud seeing as how his roomate

shot up in bed and looked to see her standing there. "Elena? Why are you here? And...what are you doing

with my EMR?" So she was caught, standing there in his room in the middle of the night, clutching Reno's

EMR to her chest.

Well...damn.

"Ahem, well Reno, I'm doing a...weapons check on all of the turks' weapons." She lied, quickly making up

an excuse. Reno nodded "Uh huh...", and suddenly plummeted back down on his pillow, fast asleep. 'Well,'

Elena thought, 'Either he's dead or he's on OOC (Out of Caffeine) pills.' She decided to take this 'moment'

somewhere private. She headed towards the door and towards her home.

----------------------------------------------------

Reno, tired, put a shaky hand towards the 'Evil Coffee Maker' that had caused so much chaos before. He

recalled Tseng, shaking, on the floor screaming 'The coffee maker! The coffee maker! It...it's evil!' and Rude

curled up in the fetal position whispering 'It...killed my glasses.' Reno sighed. What had happened last

night? Oh yeah, he had gotten drunk and Elena had been at his place and...his EMR...Rno spluttered out his

coffee and felt towards his side. His EMR still hung there. Thinking back, he remembered Elena had just

been doing a weapons check, thank god.Walking back to the turk offices, he saw Tseng trying to juggle a

pie. _One _pie. Let's just say it wasn't working very well. Rude was attempting to make a house of cards. He

got three standing, let out a breath of relief, and then had to start all over again. 'Idiots.' Reno thought. Elena

looked tired also, and currently had her head layed of her desk in her arms, her blonde locks drifting lazily up

with every breath. Reno sat at his desk, set his coffee mug down, and said, "So...who wants to go change a

light bulb?" The three other turks looked at him strangely, then they are slowly raised their hands. "Okay!"

Reno said, and stood up. Rude suddenly spotted Reno's EMR hanging off to his side. There was

something...different about it. "Hey Reno, let me see your EMR for a second." Reno shrugged, unclipped it

from his belt and handed it over. Rude examined it. "Reno...there are...dents in this." Reno's eyebrows rose,

and Elena looked up, horrorstruck. "Yeah, and it's...slightly bent too..." Tseng remarked, moving to look at

the weapon too. "Reno," Rude looked at him, "What did you...do?" Reno's eyes widened a large amount

and his mouth fell open. "What are you thinking? That I _did _my EMR?" Tseng and Rude nodde gravely.

"Oh _hell _no." Rno said. Elena grinned.

**AN: Wow, I surprised you huh?And I was right, I _did _LMAO while writing this. It's OOC, weird, and _pure crack._...I love it. Think I'll win?**


	25. A Question and Rufena

**AN: Gahh. I've been up all night making a shrine site (See my profile for the link) and here I am typing. Well, I'm in a Rufena, yes Rufena, mood and am just writing this...Oh yeah, I still haven't found out if I won the OOC contest yet. I hope I will. And, I discovered that I love Gackt. He's so bishie! And his songs rock! I love Redemption and Longing. They're so cool...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

Every time she passed, he would look at her with piercing eyes and grin. She'd scowl at him. Heh, he loved

annoying her. But, he knew something he just _had_ to tease her about. Oh, she'd kill him if he did, but he just

had to. She had been walking down the hallway, and dropped the paperwork she had been carrying. He

came up behind her and whispered 'boo.' in her ear when she stood up. She whirled around to look at Reno,

smirking. "What Reno?" Reno twiddled with a nearby water fountain lever. "Oh, it's just I had to ask you

something." Elena scowled. "What Reno? You're wasting my time." He grinned at her. "Do you like

Tseng?" Elena's eyes went wide, but she quickly regained her composure. "Of...of course not!" She cried

indignantly. "Oh, I think you do." Reno said, looking innocently at her. Elena thought fast, he could not

know her secret, he just couldn't! What could she do? Wait, a flash of white...? "Mr. President! Sir!" Elena

called to the man turning around the corner. He looked at her questioningly. "Yes...?" Sensing impending

doom, he walked over to her. "Umm...I...I had fun last night!" She said quickly and leaned over to kiss him.

Reno looked on in horror as he watched Elena, the rookie, kiss Rufus, _the president._ Elena pulled back and,

blushing, ran off towards the turk offices. Reno, jaw dropped, pointed to Rufus, and then to where Elena

had run off to. "Wha...?" Rufus was rubbing his lips, dumbstruck. He then proceed to begin to walk back to

his office, but not without hitting the wall a few times. Reno watched him. "Oh, I'll _definately _be telling Rude

about this." Reno said, nodding.

**AN: So, yay! Spread the Rufena love! I might even make a shrine site to them!**


	26. Boredom

**AN: Hmm...well, I have alot of work to do but I guess I'll start with this. Anything else? Yeah...I love Gackt. He's an FFVII bishie, but REAL at the same time! HEE HEE. I'm so weird. :P His songs are really good though! Yeah, Relena ahead.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

**IMPORTANT NOTE: All of these drabbles and oneshots are unconnected unless I say so. Do not take into account what had happened in the lat chapter, unless I say. Sorry for any confusion.**

Reno was bored. Completely, and utterly, bored. He just sat in that bar with Elena after Tseng's 'accident'.

Where Rude was, he had NO clue. He attempted to amuse himself by swishing the little umbrella in his drink,

but it didn't work. Elena, on the other hand, was bored also. She kept thinking of ways to end this boredom,

but each seemed too zealous. Burning something was out of the question, although would most definately

amuse Reno. Having a drinking contest wasn't as fun if Rude wasn't there. Elena sighed. Nothing to do.

They sat like that for about 10 minutes until Elena perked up and looked over at Reno. He had his head in

his hands and his eyes were unfocused. "Reno...?" Elena said. He paid her no attention. "Reno, are you still

consious?" He nodded and murmured "Bored..." Elena smiled. "How about this?" And with that she leaned

over and gave him a kiss, which made him sit up immediately. I guess boredom could be beat afterall.

**AN:Goes into military mode: Just a quick snippet to satisfy your Relena needs. :Salutes: Heh heh. Review!**


	27. Ties

**AN: Theme: Reno's Tie. I bet you're are all wondering '...What tie?' Well, I...just read, okay? A more serious one, I guess...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix. **

**Note:** **Been redone due to bad formatting.**

She wanted to strangle him, but the question was, how? She would have strangled him with his tie, but...he

didn't wear one.

Damn.

Reno smirked at her. Oh, this was highly amusing. Thank god he wasn't wearing a tie. Heh heh.

She looked up at him, her face red.

"So, 'Laney, watcha gonna do?" He asked, grinning.

Elena scowled. "I want to kill you."

Reno scoffed. "You've said that a million times."

Elena's face went redder. "This time, I mean it. "

She attempted to throw a punch at him, but he caught it and held it in his grip. She tried her other hand, but he caught that too. Tears began to run down her face, and she fell forward. He caught her, and pulled her to him.

Tears began to stain his rumpled jacket, and muffled sobs could be heard.

"I hate you...I hate you..." She cried, sounding much like a child having a tanrum, but running out of strength. Reno stroked her hair and bent down to whisper.

"You know, you may want to 'kill' me, but I want to kiss you."

The sobbing stopped, and Elena looked up, eyes red, face tearstained, and an odd expression on her face.

"Reno...?"

Reno smiled, grasped _her _tie, and pulled her lips to his.

**AN: Gah, I had to go look for the official Turk and Rufus pic to see if Elena actually _had _a tie, and she did so...yes.**

**:Blush:**


	28. Train Ride

**AN: Yep, another Relena. After this is humor, humor, humor. I have numorous things planned. Well, this one's theme is 'Train Ride'. So...yes.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

**Note: Been redone due to bad formatting.**

Oh, Elena just HAD to have been placed with Reno for a mission, hadn't she?

Having to ride the train into the slums with Reno wasn't her idea of a good time, but it had to be done.

So, there they were, sitting side by side, on the train. Everyone else had either cleared out of that car or scooted away. Being a turk had its...benefits.

Reno was acting like an absolute horror. Demanding that he get another pillow, looking at the in-car menu and saying "What? No beer?", and streching out just to antagonize her. He turned and grinned at her.

"Hey 'Lena, how much longer until we get there?" Elena looked at her watch.

"An hour. God, this is taking forever." Reno smirked.

"Hmm, time for a quick nap then, huh?" Elena frowned at him.

"Whatever Reno."

Reno grinned, satisfied, and leaned back and closed his eyes.

Well, somewhere in the process of his 'nap' he just _had_ to shift slightly, and start to lean on Elena's shoulder. Elena froze, then slowly turned her head to look at Reno, horrorstruck.

His long lashes lie on his cheek, his breathe tickles her neck, and his crimson locks fall back down her shoulder. Her first thought was to push him off her and slap him but...it wasn't _that_ bad actually. It felt...nice. Maybe she'd let him stay like that for the rest of the trip.

Though, holy forbid, if he shifted again and his head fell down onto her lap, she'd slap him _then_...or maybe not.

_Maybe not._

**AN: Tee hee. I love Relena.**


	29. Can you take a message?

**AN: Hey guys! So, Relena drabbles are through for now, but there will be more. For now, humor!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

**Note: Has been redone due to bad formatting.**

Reno had stealth, and he used this stealth to sneak into places, namely Tseng's office.

Seeing that Tseng wasn't there, and spotting Tseng's coffee cup, he pulled out his bottle of vegatable oil and a deflated balloon..

'This _has_ to get that stick out of Tseng's--' Reno's thought was cut off when the phone rang.

Cursing his luck, he picked it up.

"Hello!" Said a friendly voice. "I'd like to speak with Mr. Tseng please."

"Uhh...He's not here." Reno replied.

"Oh, well, can you take a message?" Reno scowled and swore.

"Uhh, Sir?" The voice said.

"Err...I mean... Help! I'm being attacked!"He knocked over an end table and broke a lamp for effect.

The voice gasped.

Looking around again, he saw the balloon from his latest prank. Picking it up and putting it to his lips, it was soon full of air. Grabbing a nearby pen, and placing the balloon next to the phone, he suddenly punctured it.

_POP!_

"Agh! I've been shot!" And with that, he hung up the phone and went back to his vegatable oil.

'I hate taking messages.'

**AN: Hee hee. Very true, I hate taking messages too. So, based on a comic in Calvin and Hobbes, whom you should know who belongs to. Review! They make me so happy, and make me update faster!**


	30. Reno's Latest prank

**AN: Hey! Sorry I was gone so long. I had a vacation, 4th of July, a whole house cleaning. Gah, it was horrible. But don't worry. I have so many ideas! A 5 hour drive does wonders for turk fic ideas. So, this one...Yeah, it's horror. Boo! Hope it's not too scary. HAHA. Yeah right.**

**Disclaimer:I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

Reno smirked. His latest prank _had_ to be his best. It involved a 'special' card, a voice recorder, and

a certain blond turk.

"Okay," Reno said to the other male turks, Rude and Tseng,

"The plan is, we have Tseng record a scary sound or message on the recorder 'cause Elena won't suspect him, right? Rude puts the card in a place where Elena can find it. The card has two pages. The one that says the creepy message and when she turns to the next page of the card, the sound recorder should go off. Got it?"

The two turks nodded.

"So, Elena's working the night shift. Rude, you put it in a palce where she'll find it before you go home, okay?"

Rude nodded.

"Okay, let's go!"

------------------

It was 11:00 PM at Shinra HQ and the only female turk sat in her office, doing some paperwork. She

kept casting glances towards the card that had been sitting on her desk when she arrived. On the front, it said 'To Elena'.

Elena frowned and picked it up.

On the inside was a single sentence that read 'Elena, I'm coming for you.'

Elena got an odd look on her face, but merely waved off the message as one of Reno's pranks. But, there

was another page. She turned it and about 30 seconds later laughter rang out. Maniacal laughter. Elena

dropped the card.

That wasn't Reno's laugh. Or Rude's for that matter.

"Elena." A sinister voice whispered, sounding very much like leaves being crushed on a sidewalk.

A scream was heard.

------------------

Rufus looked up from his desk, weary eyed from dozing, at the sound of a feminine scream.

"Reno! Stop eating all the sugar!"

Rufus shook his head and rubbed his eyes. He must not be fully awake yet.

Who had screamed?

Reno and Rude were gone, as well as all the other employees. But, Elena was still there. Why would she scream?

Frowning, he grabbed his shotgun from it's place at his side, and went to the door. A crash and another scream was heard from the turk offices.

------------------

Elena huddled in her chair, looking over her shoulder every few seconds.

"R-reno! This isn't f-funny!" She shouted.

Getting up, she walked to her door and peered around the corner. Nothing but pitch black.

"Hello...?" She called.

Walking out further, she dared to venture farther into the dark of the hallway. Seeing nothing but the outlines of shapes and shadows, she suddenly bumped into a large object and stumbled to the ground.

Elena looked up to see a double-barrel shotgun pointed at her, held by the young blonde president.

"Sir?" She asked.

"Elena?" Rufus replied, scratching his head, "I heard a scream. Was it you?"

Elena nodded. "Have you seen Reno? I have a feeling he caused all this."

Rufus frowned. "Elena, Reno's not here. Nor is Rude."

"What? Then...where did that voice come from?"

Rufus froze. "I don't know."

Elena stood up. "C'mon. Let's go. I just _know_ Reno's here. Probably waiting to see the aftermath of his prank."

Rufus nodded and started off towards where his office was. Elena followed. They passed a closet, which seemed to be snickering and nodded at each other. Elena grasped the handle, and Rufus held up his shotgun. Opening the door, they screamed

"Gotcha!" but...no one was there.

Rufus was not amused.

"Where. Are. They?" He said through gritted teeth.

They continued through the halls and passed another closet, but waved it off and went on.

What they didn't know was Reno, Rude, and Tseng were inside of it, extremely cramped as well, waiting for the right moment to leap out.

"Reno," Tseng whispered, "You have ten seconds to get your foot out of my face. Now."

Rude had broken his glasses and was...well, _really_ _pissed off_.

Reno had somehow turned upside-down, to the annoyance of the other two turks.

When they could no longer stand the lack of space, they tumbled through the door, and landed in a pile with a dumbstruck Rufus and a 'WTF?' faced Elena staring down at them.

"Eh...boo?" Reno said, giving them a nervous smile. Elena scowled at him.

"You guys really suck, you know that?" She said.

Reno rubbed the back of his head and grinned up at her.

"Ah, it was worth it."

"Hmph. Anyway, that voice was really creepy. How'd you do it?" Rufus asked.

Reno looked to Tseng. "That was Tseng. He must of done a good jub huh?"

Rude nodded. Tseng looked at Reno oddly.

"Reno...I never put the tape in the recorder. I thought you had done it."

Reno's jaw dropped, Elena froze, and Rufus tensed. Rude adjusted his newly aquired glasses and looked incredibly at Tseng.

Laughter rang from the darkness.

**AN: Boo! Yeah, so who was it? Heh, I have no clue. I scared myself with this though. I am a chicken...**


	31. Family

**AN: Another one... It's pretty short though. You know what? I really can't believe how popular this fic is...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

Reno looked up from his desk and frowned. A shadow of his past appeared before him, a shadow

of a bad childhood. Reno shook it off, and looked around him.

Utter chaos, as usual.

Elena was currently chasing Rude, who had stolen the paperwork she had spent two days on.

Tseng was trying to open a bottle of asprin, but he couldn't quite figure it out.

Rufus stood with his arms crossed, a frown on his face, though he kept casting glances to the capinet where the popcorn was stored.

Reno smirked.

"Hey Rude, pass it here!"

Elena's face grew redder, Rude grinned, and Tseng was unconcious due to an overdose.

Rufus still stood with his arms crossed, though _somehow_ the microwave had turned on and was humming.

_Maybe Reno didn't have a family then, but he sure had one now._

**AN: Drabble-ness! Yay-ness! Heh heh.**


	32. The Horrors of Television

**AN: Well, this is what you get when you have to spend an hour in a furniture store with nothing to do but look at the different types of TVs, plus the shows that were displayed on them. Up next, the horrors of television! I'm sure you guys will simply _love_ this one!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

**Note: Has been redone due to bad formatting.**

Reno stared at the television in the turk lounge. It was a new model that had just been ordered and

it had not officially passed the 'Reno-must-like-it-or-it-shall-slowly-be-disasembled-and-burned' test.

He leaned back in the old couch and cautiously reached for the new 'foreign' remote. Elena, who was sitting at a nearby table working on _more_ paperwork , gave him an odd look.

"What?" Reno whined. "It could have been tampered with! Those delivery boys looked _very _suspicious."

Reno glared at the TV. Rude, who sat in a recliner beside the couch, frowned at Reno.

"Reno, just turn on the damn TV." Reno scowled and started grumbling.

"Alright, alright." Clicking the 'On' buttom on the remote, the TV flashed on.

A commercial was on.

A Rogain hair growth commercial.

Reno's mouth fell open and he pointed to the TV.

"Hey, it's Rude's dream job!" He shouted. Rude threw him a _really_ dirty look and Elena snickered. Part of the

reason being how idiotic Reno looked, and the other part being how idiotic_ Rude _looked.

Reno pressed the 'Up' channel button and the TV flashed to a kids' program.

"The Teletubbies? What the...hell?" Reno said, raising an eybrow. "They actually subject kids to _this_?"

Rude's eye twitched. "Please. Change the channel. Now." Reno looked over at Rude, then back at the TV.

"Riiiiight."

He flipped the switch again. '_Bow chicka bow bow._' Horrible music came from the television. Elena looked up at the TV and her eyes widened. Rude choked slightly and Reno's jaw dropped. Elena leaped up from her chair and screeched.

"Change the channel! Change the channel!" Rude stood up too. Reno looked from side to side, then at the TV.

"Oh my god." Elena jumped onto the couch and attempted to wrestle the remote away from Reno, but he wouldn't give. Rude hustled over and grabbed at the tiny device, but to no avail.

"Give it!" Elena shouted. Their fumbles resulted in them falling off the couch, taking Rude down with them, and landing in a pile on the floor. The remote landed five feet away from the turks. Rude reached for it, but Elena was on his arm, and he couldn't move it far enough. Elena couldn't move, for Reno was currently sprawled over her. Reno was just lazy like that, and swiped for the remote, but failed.

Suddenly the door slammed open, revealing a Tseng with a 'WT..flying...F?' look on his face.

He looked at the TV, and then at his turks in this _unusual_ position.

"I _honestly, _really don't want to know." A curious Rufus peaked over Tseng's shoulder.

"Dear...holy..."

Reno, oblivious to the two newcomers, reached for the electronic and grasped it.

"Ah ha!" He then noticed the two. His jaw dropped...again. "Oh...my...damn..."

**AN: Ah ha ha ha. This was very amusing to write. Eh heh.**


	33. Football

**AN: So, the long awaited drabble. :Cough: Actually, you've never heard of it, but it's great anyway! Well, it should be funny. :Sweatdrop: Just one thing, this was inspired after my little bro asked a stupid question. The outcome was _very _funny. So, this chapter is having a change in format. I hope you guys like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

Elena looked on in confusion at Reno bustling around the turk lounge gathering food. Oh sure, this would have been completely normal, except for the fact that Reno was only wearing a pair of swimming trunks.

Reno gathered up a bucket of ice, complete with sodas, in one arm. Cans of beer in the other. Balanced a bag of chips on his head, and held a bag of popcorn in his mouth. He was a _really _strange site to see walking through Shinra HQ wearing only swimming trunks and carrying such a load. Numorous secretaries peeped out to look, most fainted. Employees raised eyebrows and Tseng raised a finger at Reno, though became speechless.

Elena followed him back to the turk offices, and was met by Rude, who was reading a newspaper, and seemed undisturbed by the redheaded turk. Reno proceeded to dump the junk food on his desk, jump into his chair, and switch on his computer.

Opening up the internet, Reno went to a something called 'GaiaSportsdotCom', and clicked on the 'Football' link. The following actions from Reno will haunt Elena in her nightmares _for the rest of her life_.

Reno grinned at the computer screen and, well let's say...'went all fangirly'.

"Oh my god! The Midgar Moose are playing the Kalm Kangaroos! OH MY GOD!"

Curling up into a ball, he began rocking himself back and forth, still grinning at the screen.

Elena turned to Rude and pointed to Reno.

"What is _wrong _with him? Why is he wearing swimming trunks? What...?"

Rude stood up, adjusted his tie, and peered at Reno, still in his 'Fan-_ish_ Fetal Position'. He turned his gaze back to Elena.

"Well, we're afraid he might piss himself out of excitement, so we're not taking any chances."

Elena looked at Reno.

"Yep, that explains alot."

Reno glared daggers at the two.

"Oh, you're just _jealous_. _REAL _men watch football."

Elena frowned and looked him up and down. He was wearing aqua blue swim trunks, with little orange fish decorating the pockets. She nodded sarcastically.

"I find that _extremely _hard to believe."

"Whatttttt?" Reno whined. "Rude doesn't watch football!" He searchingly glared at Rude. "He _must _be gay..."

Rude shot Reno a dirty look. "One thing Reno. _Look in the mirror_."

Reno looked down at himself. "Eh heh. Oops."


	34. Interrupted by Fireworks

**AN: Seeing as how I havn't updated in forever, I'm here to show you I'm still alive.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

**------**

You could say they were 'Interrupted by Fireworks'.

After all, that was how the song went.

The soft clinks of bells, and the smooth hum of the violin.

It was enough to stop Elena and Reno from killing each other while riding in the gondola, with Rude caught in the middle.

Now, fireworks whizzed across the sky, exploding in an array of colors, and figures.

Now Reno's head lay in Elena's lap, as he happily pointed out the shining sky as if he were a child.

Elena smiled lightly and absently stroked Reno's hair.

A few amber colored leaves blew across the bursts of magic, and whisped of frost tugged at them, but they didn't notice it.

The magic of that song brought out the peacefullness in all of them, and as their eyes became brighter, the song became louder.

-------

**AN: I love that song. Makes you feel all fuzzy inside. Happy Fall guys.**


	35. DanceDanceWhat?

**AN: Woo...Been so long since I've updated this ol' fic, hasn't it? I last updated at the beginning of fall! It's Christmas in 9 days! Wow.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, that would be Square-Enix.**

**----**

"Over there." Elena directed, smiling at the workers. Well, shrimpy interns, but who cares?

Said workers placed the object in the corner of the Turk lounge, and left hurriedly.

"What is it?" Reno asked, lazily leaning back in his arm chair. He had done nothing what-so-ever to help.

Elena smiled as she placed the many colored cords in the correct slots, and positioned the gaming console.

Rude read the info-box, bemused. He glanced at Elena, who was just about to insert the final plug.

Elena stood up and walked to turn off the light-switch, and turned on the television.

Music suddenly blared from the wide-screen's audio system, and lights began flashing. Reno stood up quickly, and narrowed his eyes as he took the info-box from Rude.

"What the hell is 'DDR'?"

Elena smirked at the unknowing red-head, and replied, "You'll see."

----

**AN: LOL! You can just imagine what happens next, can't ya? I love DDR.**

**Disclaimer: DDR (DanceDanceRevolution) belongs to Konami. **


	36. Squicked

**AN: Please see a topic known as 'OT-Concerning my absence' in my forum to see why I have been gone for so long. I apologize for taking so long.**

"What the hell…?" Reno shouted indignantly, jumping up off the couch in the Turk lounge. "Oh my _god_, not right!" He quickly covered his eyes with his hands.

"…Awesome…" Elena murmured, eyes going wide as she stared at the TV screen.

"…ZZZzzz…" Rude was asleep. It was hard to tell though, what with those dark glasses and all.

Tseng twitched. "Do. Not. Want." he whispered.

Rufus dug his hand in the bucket of popcorn. "Oh, can't wait to see what the fans do with _this_ material." After all, Rufus was a master of the fandom. Obviously.

**AN: Okay, how many people here have seen 'The Brothers Grimm'? -raises hand- I have! How many people were 'WTF?' faced at the end? -hand goes up- The Shinra-ys reactions to the…'True love's kiss' scene at the end of the movie mirror some of me and my classmates. We watched the movie at school, and, _obviously_, some people are gonna be absolutely _squicked_ by brothers nearly kissing and exchanging saliva. **

**Go ahead and guess which reaction was mine…**

**Sorry for such a short drabble, BTW.**


	37. When the Internet Gets Dangerous

**AN: Woot! Plug in and turn up those headphones, baby! Sapphire's freaking **_**back**_**, and I've got here **_**the**_** lost episode of 'Turk Moments'! Typed two years ago, and never posted! I've edited it and redone it for your reading pleasure!**

**Get ready for...'When the Internet Gets Dangerous'.**

**Take note: I've been listening to too much Queen and ACDC lately. ;D**

**---**

Lips parted in a most interesting way, Reno clicked the mouse, sliding it across his mouse pad and cocking his head at what he was looking at. 'Naughty Nurses Nine?' Wasn't that that...err...'interesting' movie that had been on that TV they'd bought weeks ago? (Which, he'd like to add, had been slowly disassembled and burned to ashes hours after that incident. It sure as hell hadn't passed the 'Reno Test'. (TM))

And, what was this? 'Busty Barmaids'? Reno grinned. Why didn't they just call it 'Tifa dot com'? He should save the web address and give it to Rude later...

Never mind the fact that he should be working; there was a huge pile of paperwork off to the side. Eh, oh well. He'd just drop it all on 'Lena. Heh.

Glancing around discreetly, he clicked on another link--a rather _shocking_ link. One that would make even the stoic Rude quiver in terror, the cold Rufus cry, and the glaring Tseng's eyes go wide.

And what was this link, you ask? Why it was none other than...

Fanfiction dot net.

Reno grinned wide. Now, _this_ could be interesting...

---

**AN: I would also like to announce that my original novel, **_**Glassfortress**_** will be completed by the end of January! Wish me luck, ya'll! This story sparked my dreams, and I love all of my fabulous reviewers:D**

**Tune in next time for...well, some more random crap. XD**

**Oh, and I have a VERY important announcement! You guys all remember 'Pencils'?**

**Well...there's going to be a sequel! -waits for the shrieks of delight- LOL**


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